One Night Stands- Never alone, always lonely

I never thought to be in this situation. I thought by now I might be  happily married to Chris.

Yesterday I shared a kiss with a guy that has been in a steady relationship with his Girlfriend fo seven years. I could see in his eyes that he was tempted. I saw myself staring back at me. It is so easy to give in. So easy to loose yourself. Music, alcohol, bodies pushing against you, surrounding you, the beat pounding the heat up...

He went with his friends and I found myself another guy-o r maybe he found me, I can't quite remember. One of the DJ'S took a liking to me, kept giving me drinks for free from the bartender, played songs for me. It was a bit surreal.

I spent the night at his place. We didn't fuck. He sure as hell wanted, but I had told him at the Club I wouldn't sleep with him, and I stayed true to my words. 

Turns out he studies at the same university as I do. Good looking, a bit kinky, domineering, fucking rich at only 22. I sure know how to pick them.

We'll see if he calls me. I'd like it, but last year taught me not to depend on those calls that might never come.

I feel so bloody lonely.

Stockholm is called the City of Singles. But being a single in Stockholm doesn't mean you're alone during the night. Just lonely on the inside.

I miss Chris. I miss the sex between us. It wasn't what I now prefer, but I miss the way he would hold me afterwards, the way he would look at me like I was everything he could ever want.

I'm tired. So bloody tired of it.

5.3.11 23:53


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